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Mombian.com has an excellent article analyzing the effects of the military’s “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy on the children of service members.
In the close-knit community of an army base, there is a strong chance the young children will inadvertently out their mothers. “When I tried to put William in on-base daycare,” explains Parker, “he would talk about having two moms. A lot of the daycare workers are spouses of military personnel. I don’t need somebody’s wife saying ‘What’s the deal with William Parker?’”
January 21st, 2008 at 12:21 pm
I posted this article on a gay message board and I was surprised at some of the responses. But the more I thought about it, the more I began to agree with the responses. I gave up so much for my child. I would never dream of asking my child to sacrifice her childhood for my career. This comment I got sums it up best for me:
I fully, firmly believe that gay people should be allowed to serve openly in the military, but since at this time they can’t, I think this woman is being extremely selfish toward her partner and especially her children. Since it seems to be all about her and how she “always wanted to be in the military” then fine. Let her go do that, her partner and kids can settle where the children can make friends and have full lives instead of being cloistered away like a dirty secret or a bomb that might go off and she can visit when she’s able. She’s not doing anyone, except perhaps herself, any favors.
Bravery is something we attribute to soldiers, so maybe she should show some and fight for her right to serve instead of making her children suffer in the closet with her. During wartime is the best time for this sort of fight anyway.
Maybe that’s harsh, but that’s my initial, gut-level reaction.